Chilean D'Light… July 2001
I visited a dear soul partner, Diana Pey, in Chile for nearly the entire month of July, 2001. The beginning of our relationship came as quite the surprise, and to many it probably seems quite 'weird' only in a good way. I saw her in a vision several years before our encounter, not remembering until that 'appropriate' time. I physically met her the previous September (2000) at the Gathering of Souls Conference in Camp Verde, Arizona.
The recognition at our initial physical encounter was more of a magnet than either one of us quite understood, yet denial was not an option. I suppose part of it was sharing the Cancer sun sign. It wasn't until I was standing in the parking garage at Sky Harbor Airport watching her plane back away from the gate that the vision I had two years prior revisited me.
Allow me to fill in those obvious gaps a little. It's often a challenge to put non-linear experiences into a linear framework. Our thoughts tend to jump around and it is through the discipline of writing that we are somewhat able to string them together in a flow of consciousness. This is only a snipet of my life, and yes I have written a book... several, in fact. I share bits and pieces throughout the Web, too.
During the Gathering of Souls conference the day after we met, Diana related that I was introduced to her by Ashtar in a dream-vision she had about a week before coming to America for the event. It is rare that I have these experiences with such intensity and it was obvious to both of us that we have a much greater mission together than our human understanding could comprehend at the time. Overcoming the trepidation to test my reality had met with even more high strangeness.
Nonetheless our humanness and passion, both being Cancers, was quite lively and the urge to merge was overwhelming to say the least. We just had to be near each other. She knew me to be the son of Ashtar from her personal experience, her dream/vision, so here I was faced with yet another 'validation' of some bizarre notion that I'm more than just a human being. Is this some kind of a cosmic joke or a sublime reality? My years of believing it to be incredulous were coming to an end.
The coordinators introduced me to the folks at the gathering as a presenter (doing an updated version of my strip-tease storytelling) and part time musician (playing during the evenings) which was quite comfortable. However, during the closing they brought me up in front and announced me as the son of Ashtar and Athena. I was asked, through a 'channeled' message, if I was willing to lead the 'ground crew' at this time in the Mission of Unity. Afterward I was 'baptised' in the pool as part of the ceremony.
I felt like I no longer could deny part of what I know about myself. Being asked to take a leadership role of the 'Ground Crew' in the mission of Unity among humanity seemed perfect. It felt so right and yet so out of this world that I had quite the challenge as to how to integrate the experience in some kind of action that made sense. The concept was nothing new. I'd been told about it many years before when I gave my life to know truth.
Several months after the Gathering, I began work on Mission: Earth Dance, which was a series of weekend gatherings designed to bring people of purpose together for developing strategies to work with disenfranchised youth. Diana had also begun a similar event to our Mission: Earth Dance in Phoenix, called “Danza de la Tierra” or Dance of the Earth, which was held in various locations in Chile. It was more metaphysically oriented, though. She worked as a doctor for the national health system.
Just before going to Chile back in 2001 I was meditating and had a vision of a great snake, a female cobra whose head was as big as the apartment I was in. She was antagonistic, so I retorted. She struck at me, swallowed me whole and I found myself in her gullet. My thoughts were of dying, letting go and it didn't matter because I would return somehow.
Upon the latter thoughts, she set me down as quickly as she had snapped me up and told me she didn't want to harm me, but needed my attention as there was something I needed to see. At that point I was in a male cobra's POV next to her, looking at me standing on a circular platform with darkness all around. I was shown some other stuff that I'm not privy to say. I left for Chile the next day.
Introduction to the South American family
My arrival caused an upheaval in her family life for the duration of my stay. It also brought a different perspective to my own. Apparently the estranged relationship with the father of her boys (3 and 5 at the time) was not as distant as perceived. Nonetheless, I began my stay in a one-bedroom cottage not far from her home. I was distraught over the apparent pain that the boys' father was experiencing. The cottage was a comfortable, yet simple, environment with no TV or telephone. It was quite soothing to be honest.
The first morning I awoke in this wonderful land I was greeted by a male Spanish voice. It actually woke me up. The words of welcome he spoke are etched in my heart forever, "La Familia del Norte." It was then I knew my trip had much more importance than I may have realized at first. The unfoldment of my experience was better than any book could have been written. My mind and heart were full of love and contentment in this beautiful land of the Mapuche. I wear their symbols still, a male and female deity, as an honored connection to these people.
During my stay we visited several groups, professionals who were openly metaphysicians, that were involved in continued social reform as the transformation from dictatorship to democracy continues to plague some important areas of community support in Chile. One of the most exciting places was a Waldorf school in Limache, developed and run by Angelica and Jorge Gomez Ramos. A black llama had been born on the school grounds less than an hour before we arrived in Limache.
We were shown a magnificent gentle sloped grounds nestling some gentle foothils of the Andes. The school building was turn of the century architecture and built by Jorge's father and grandfather. He also taught Architecture at the Universidad de Santiago and was incorporating plans for the school's expansion into architecture programs for the youth as they grew into high school years. Waldorf Schools generally only go through gradeschool.
I had a wonderful discussion with Jorge, later in the day, regarding the shift in humanity that is beginning to be felt throughout the world. We sat in the huge study of the restored house on the corner of the property, rebuilt with funds Jorge had acquired from the Waldorf Foundation in Stuttgart, Germany. The grounds, school, and Jorge had a very special vibe about them, such that one could sense the deeply connected spiritual atmosphere.
He was an ardent student of Rudolf Steiner and shared some wonderful insights he'd learned through his many years, nearly 70 at the time. Although he was probably more realistic than I at the time, I shared my personal mission to connect the points of light as a means to convey the closeness of a greater reality. I enjoyed being able to discuss openly the issues we both saw as important in building a better world through compassion and collaboration.
Another heart-warming place was an orphanage in Kyoto a few miles away. The beautiful smiles and warm hugs from the children made it a special place indeed. The children all treated me with affection and kindness, even with the language barrier, and there were many hugs to go around. We had dinner with these resilient children, which consisted of a biscuit with butter and a cup of tea. This was middle of winter for them and although winters were mild, the buildings only had small kerosene heaters to provide warmth.
The children in both locations took part in the agricultural production at each location during the growing season. The Novalis (Waldorf) School was on 40 acres and the orphanage was on about 5 acres. This particular location also had starter beds, a well with an electric pump, and greenhouse. It was my hopes to return to the United States and find resources to help to support the orphanage and the Waldorf School.
There were several wonderful people who joined us for some of our journeys, escorting me around the country and to some absolutely gorgeous places between the coast and the Andes. We visited a young woman, wheelchair bound, who was so moved that we were coming that she created a gift of writing and a picture. I'll share it here, too, as it touched my heart deeply. Click on it to see the full size.
I was also invited to the July Danza de la Tierra event in Valparaiso. Diana had continued the gatherings even after our Phoenix version faultered. The meeting was in a beautiful turn of the century building whose architecture and wooden floors gave an ambience of royalty or at least a deep sense of cultural heritage. There was an alter set up at the front of the room with the symbols of earth, fire, air, and water as well as various other symbols of reverence to life. My beloved partner opened the event with a call for humility and surrender to ALL THAT IS, so that we may all focus on the present and give it our fullest. She then opened the floor for any opening comments.
There were about 50 in
attendance from all walks of professional endeavors, corporate to social
Next, an elderly woman with fire in her brilliant blue eyes (known a a local Bruha) stood up and addressed the group. She spoke of how his circle related to some other sacred geometric symbols, which she also drew on the board, and how they too related to our ONENESS. To my surprise she also told of an 'eyes open' vision she had while sitting in the room as the program opened. She told the group that she saw me standing 5 meters tall dressed in white garments with a very large open book in my arms. There was another standing on each side of me dressed in the same white garments that were shining as if they were light. She pointed toward me and told the audience that I was the one they had been waiting for and to listen closely to my words.
As Diana was translating this to me I felt like I wanted to disappear. I was not prepared for such an introduction, as it was so humbling that I did not want to address it any further. I felt like much was expected of me and I simply had to let go and let my heart speak to theirs. I opened with, 'Mi corazon habla tu corazon,' my heart speaks to your heart. It was nonetheless quite an intriguing experience of serendipitous synchronicity. The symbols were above the bullet points of the presentation, so I left them and near the end of the presentation drew them back into how they fit into conscientious project planning. It made for a really nice close that was planned more perfectly than I could have imagined.
I had been asked to prepare a presentation on project management, which I thought would last for the morning session. I wanted to offer the gist of my training through education and practical experience. Although I had been successful in the corporate environment, my heart was set on bringing people together to set and achieve goals worthy of a new world order, one of spiritual solidarity and service to mankind. I gave this presentation with poor Spanish, yet there were several translators who opted to help and we all enjoyed the process, making sure there were plenty of laughs at and with this gringo from the North. I was given the entire day, and there was much interaction as well.
Many spoke openly of their personal activities with various groups and the challenge of working in harmony toward common goals. Others spoke of the difficulty in preparing specific plans for things they knew needed to change and yet they did not feel 'intelligent' enough to develop working plans for change. It was quite a warm and friendly atmosphere with a willingness to share deeply, much different than in the United States now. Even at metaphysical gatherings, people in the US are often at a distance emotionally. You can actually feel the difference in the people's energy.
The South American culture seems much more heart-centered than in the United States. I noticed it particularly when I came back and immediately jumped into an event production capacity. North Americans are so much in the heads with detail and delusions. A gentleman came up to me after the meeting in Valparaiso and acknowledged the 'zen' approach I had used and its heart-centeredness. His statement meant a lot to me, showing I had been able to communicate well. I could tell Arnau was going to make a difference in many people's lives.
Early the next week I shared the Multi-Plane Awareness technique with a gentleman, Cecil, who taught music at the university and coached their sculling team. He was much my senior, nevertheless his experience was exquisite as he effortlessly traveled the planes and reported back. What was extremely interesting was that when he reached the 8th plane, he reported back that his 'name' there was Ashtar. We hadn't discussed the Ashtar Command at all previously. I didn't want to predispose or taint the session.
A few days later I was meditating and found myself thrust into a scene that was quite extraordinary. I was in a field looking at a saucer-shaped ship that was about 50 yards in diameter, about the width of a football field. It had no exterior markings, just smooth shimmering silver in appearance. It had steps extending to the ground with no one outside. I walked over to and up the steps into the craft where I was greeted by another who looked human.
He greeted me with a degree of formality and honor that I did not expect, escorting me into a room that was about 5 meters square with what looked to be a pod of some sort in the center with the lid open. I walked over and saw myself lying inside, then felt a 'swoosh' and suddenly I was inside the body I had been observing. I opened my eyes and arose from the unit, greeted by a number of folks who were obviously different races - extraterrestrial as we would call them. There were no spoken words and an endless stream of thoughts and visual stimuli.
What I was shown was that this was my final integration of bodies, from other-dimensional to the physical being complete and now I was ready to continue with the work of the Ashtar Command as a fully conscious son of Ashtar and Athena. I walked to the place where I entered the ship and began the descent of the steps. As I made the first step down I became aware of my body again, opening my eyes to see the room I had been in meditating. I was excited and a bit disoriented, but at some level it seemed to make sense and feel right. I have no idea how it will play out. I didn't share it at the time either, opting to keep my ego in check.
The following weekend we were invited to a meeting of the Mission RAMA (Rahma, Es.) in Santiago. I had no awareness of this group as of yet, at least on the outer planes of consciousness in my awareness. The only thing that I was told is that it would be a meeting of several smaller groups gathering to discuss opening an ‘inner earth portal’ in Argentina within the next couple of weeks. I was intrigued to say the least. I had 'imagined' working with 'portals' for many years during particular times of meditation and wondered if this would be similar.
I hadn't heard of anyone in the US doing this kind of work to date, but I'm sure some where. We arrived at an apartment complex and were greeted most graciously by the entire group of nearly 30 in a one-bedroom apartment living room. It was pretty tight to say the least. I most enjoyed their greeting style, which was a hug and a kiss on the cheek for everyone, male and female alike as open affection is encouraged and demonstrates the warmth of the heart. I find Americans are often constricted by such openness of affection and consideration for others.
The meeting proceeded, in Spanish, with my partner translating for me again. One of the young men could speak English fluently so there was also some exchanges with him. After a few minutes of old business, and briefly discussing their plans for the coming trip to Argentina, the elder of the group (late 50s) began to talk about a vision he had earlier in the week.
He described an image of two cones, one upside down upon the other, with wavy lines of various types appearing to enter the top and come out the bottom, compressing in the center on the way through. Diana was translating. He did not understand what it meant. I was familiar with the image he described from a graphic Dan Winter had shared with me when we met the previous fall just outside Phoenix. It was a vortex within the hearts of all, and I asked if he would like be to explain it. His eyes shown with the glow of an expectant child immediately when Diana translated my offering.
It took some minutes of explanation (the process was a bit slow) as I related an explanation of pure sharable energy and how this image was a graphical representation of this pulsing energy moving in and out of the center of our being- our heart of hearts if you will. It is that essence that connects us to All That Is in every heartbeat. At the center of consciousness in the body one can even feel the bio-electric pulse at the core of our collective consciousness. My spirit was pouring out a wonderfully integrated message that, again, I could not have imagined being more simple and understandable regardless of the language constraints. I was even able to construct some points in Spanish and still have them comprehended.
As I continued with detailing how incorporating the awareness of the pulse was applied to our daily lives, allow us to enjoy walking in the new living awareness of ONENESS. I gave some specific examples of how one could feel this energy during interactions with others and how to anchor it further into the daily living experience. The atmosphere felt so warm and open that it was quite easy to allow the time necessary for translation, with some questions for clarity.
As I was nearing the end of the explanation of the elder's vision, a young woman sitting to my right asked, “Como te llamas?” What is your name? I answered, “Zendor.” Immediately another young man in his early 30s asked in English, “What was your name?” I gave the same reply, and began to wonder why they were asking now, as I had introduced myself to everyone upon arrival. Then a third, another woman, asked again with an air of confusion… “Como te llamas?” I replied again, slightly annoyed and yet I knew something else was afoot. I could feel it in my being. Then I asked my partner to find out what the heck was going on. She asked the young woman to my right about the question of my name.
What I found out suddenly made sense regarding my inner explorations over the past decades. I had not shared them, yet had been profoundly aware of entire 'projects' with other beings in dimensions most can only imagine, which I seemed to be a well-informed and participative individual. I often lead the work of completion once the parameters of the project had been discussed. Many of these 'projects' had to do with inner worlds accessible only through 'portals' that often looked like honeycombs from a distance. I knew of this yet, for obvious reasons, had not shared it with anyone to date. It was after 9-11 that I began to share more openly.
The reply was that this group was founded some 15 plus years before by a man who had been contacted by extraterrestrials and then shared by Jose Benitez. He was told to form groups in Central and South America with the purpose of learning how and to open inner earth portals in specific locations. The information, over time, was being ‘channeled’ by various individuals regarding the specifics. The group was told that they were working with 49 guides from multiple dimensions, only one of which was physically incarnate and acted as the liaison for the other 48.
His name is Xendor, pronounced Zendor in English. I felt so vulnerable and yet so real at the time that it was hard to hold back the tears of connection one feels when such a deep resonant chord is found. I tipped my hat, bowed graciously and made a silly comment, " Glad I showed up," which brought much laughter even among those who didn't speak English. Then was asked if I had a guide and could I ‘channel’ them for the group to ask questions. I told them a bit about Zephyr, my guide, whom I've known since a teenager.
I was very humbled by the entire experience, yet knew that I could not provide the real answers this one, and probably most of the group, were seeking. Like most, they wanted to get answers from outside themselves. They had to find it on their own through their heart-soul connection within. I told the young man who asked that all the answers he would ever need are within his own heart and that is the place where he needed to go to ask the questions. He was visibly disappointed that I chose not to channel.
I could have done what he requested, however that is no longer appropriate for me as a spiritual being. We all have a direct connect. Trouble is… most don’t trust it. People who have not ascended to their birthright, of a spiritual being, often get lost in the maze. As a spiritual being, we have direct access to information from Source. As Jesus taught us, “Ask, Seek and Knock.” The rest is a matter of Divine Law. Salud...
So, I explained to him that he and everyone else (as I looked around the room) could find answers to their deepest questions within, through becoming quiet and asking the questions knowing that the answers would come. I could see that my suggestion left him empty, so I explained that since they had seen me now and looked into my eyes that they could imagine my face, look into my eyes and ask their questions. I knew that ultimately those answers would still come from within them and that they just needed a little 'push' in perceiving that they were asking someone outside their own consciousness.
Our Precious Present
Diana and I met somewhere in the ethers a couple of years before we actually connected on the physical plane. I remembered her from a vision I had. She was the product of a Russian immigrant that was a phenomenal mechanical engineer, and a Chilean woman also of eastern European decent. I look like a mixed breed of European decent as well, although I have not been able to trace my terrestrial heritage as my adoption and birth records have both been destroyed. Her initial 'look' in the vision that I had was of aggravation and impatience, like she wanted me to 'hurry up' in some way. We had no verbal or telepathic communication at that moment, just the gaze.
When we met in person, she relayed a story about a dream/vision she had just a week or so before we physically met in the United States. She said that she was escorted by the father of her two youngest boys, whom she was still living with in Chile, to one who seemed like a leader among leaders. She acknowledged this as being Ashtar, well-known amongst the metaphysical community as the Commander in Chief of the Galactic Fleet for this area of space/time. He is known as Ashtar Sheran to them.
He told her that he was going to introduce her to his son and that they would be together for a time and then not. He then introduced her to his 'son'... me... and left us alone. We gazed into each other's eyes for a moment after we hugged, still in our arms. Then we kissed. Her description of the kiss was as two serpents' tongues searching the depths of each other, finding union and birthing a third 'energy' in the process. Her description of the experience was much more expansive, but suffice it to say we were indeed celestial cohorts.
Now, upon our initial physical meeting, we both knew we knew each other somehow, yet neither one of our previous 'dream/visions' were in our conscious recognition at the time. My appearance in her life created great confusion and emotional trauma to her intimate other. Still, she felt that it was necessary for us to share the time together and invited me to Chile. During the month there I had several conversations with her intimate other, full of sound and furry on his part, and attempts at persuasion on my part, hoping that he could see the 'big picture' reason for our time together.
Beyond all the wonderful experiences of my time there (with others), I felt somehow responsible for causing emotional pain and harm to their 'family' of several years. When I returned to the U.S. I continued to ponder the significance of our relationship and the immediate impact on our lives and many others. We both continued to act as if we were going to join in living together and pursue our Work. The week she was to fly to LA and help me prepare to pack up and move to Chile, the towers came down and all flights were cancelled. I still was not sure what it all meant. Maybe it had something to do with a previous event.
Meanwhile, I had met another through a vision as I was preparing to deliver a presentation at the event where Diana and I met. This woman in my vision, who I am with now, simply said, "Okay, are you ready to get to work?" Of course I agreed and off we went. I met her in person about 2 months later in Phoenix. I told her about everything, being brutally honest (as she called it), and that I needed to be able to follow through with this cycle of connections - where ever it led.
She allowed me to do so and still remained in a 'loving' state of acceptance to our work together as well. I had not had this kind of acceptance in my life to date. Honestly, it made me uncomfortable because I was used to people saying one thing and doing another emotionally. I'm sure there were deep feelings that thoughts that she did not discuss. I'd find out later, but I didn't probe any further than necessary at that time.
Diana and her (Robin) actually met in person shortly after the Gathering of Souls event. Diana came to America to visit me and I requested that they both meet each other as it was important to the integrity of our relationships. They agreed and we all met in a teepee at a friend's home in Phoenix, near the border of Scottsdale. The two of them hugged, kissed, hugged again and remained in each other's arms for a few moments gazing into each other's eyes in silence and love. I felt sooooooo loved too, that I cried at the openness they demonstrated to each other. Love was in the air and no one could deny its presence.
Months afterward, after moving back to Phoenix from LA and coming to terms with the fact that I was not moving to Chile after all... I was due to move there the week of 9-11. Air traffic came to a hault and her flight was cancelled, a sign that maybe this wasn't the right choice for us. I stayed a few more weeks in LA before moving back to Phoenix. I came to the place of unconditional love in my relationship with Robin. I'd still kept part of my heart closed. In doing so, opening my heart, I recognized that at least part of my experience in Chile was to live out the judgment I had for my ex-wife's behavior at the end of our marriage.
She brought another man into our relationship, gaining permission from me for him to live with us. It was one of the toughest decisions I've ever made, knowing that somehow my acceptance and allowance of her desires would benefit us all. He had shared a vision that he had of my wife while in the mountains north of Phoenix where he was told he was supposed to come and take care of her and our children while I carried out my mission. As bizarre as it may seem, I knew in my heart that the essence of the vision was true. So, I did my best to at least try to explore the possibility.
However, my humanness took over and after a few weeks I asked him to leave as I could not take the emotional trauma any longer. I became angry at my wife for even asking me to do this in the first place. So, my experience in Chile was from the opposite side of the coin so that I could see the importance of allowing Divine Will to prevail, even when I didn't consciously or emotionally understand what was happening at the time. There was a difference though, in that Diana was in charge of their household so Marcos was left heart-broken and alone. I could feel that deeply and yet could do nothing about it even though I tried talking with him several times.
I learned a great lesson here, and hoped that I had not done irreparable damage to Diana's family in the process. Robin taught me, through this process of my own, that love prevails as well, when you let go of attachment to outcome and pray for the best for all involved. I am truly blessed in this life. I hope that my sharing may help whoever reads this.