The Symbol I Didn’t Know I Was Drawing
In 1981, during one of those unusual moments when the boundary between inner awareness and an unseen intelligence seemed remarkably thin, I became aware of the presence I knew as Zephyr.
Zephyr entered my life during college after I asked in meditation whether I had a guide or ally; I immediately heard the name and saw the face of an ancient Indigenous man whose presence was unmistakably vivid to me. The research indicated he was from what is now the southwestern U.S., over 20,000 years ago, a priest-king of the civilization in what is now the Phoenix valley.
What followed were several unusual experiences—including independently reproduced automatic writing—that established Zephyr in my experience as a distinct intelligence whose occasional guidance would continue to surface at pivotal moments, including the drawing of the symbol in 1981.
The instruction was simple and unmistakable: “Pick up a pencil and paper and draw.” I had no image in mind, no plan for what I was about to create, and no conscious understanding of where the process was leading. I simply followed the prompting and allowed my hand to move across the page.
What emerged was the symbol I have carried with me ever since—an image that seemed to arrive through me rather than from deliberate thought. At the time, I could not fully explain its geometry or significance; I only knew the experience had a quality of precision and purpose.
Over the decades, as my exploration of consciousness, systems, coherence, and our relationship with a larger intelligence unfolded, the symbol increasingly felt less like something I had invented and more like something I had been given to contemplate, understand, and eventually embody.
Seven Years Later
The name Zendor arrived unexpectedly in the summer of 1988. While sitting with a friend, I silently asked myself one of the most fundamental questions of my life: “Who am I?” Without my speaking the question aloud, my friend immediately turned to me and said, “You are Zendor.” I hadn’t invented or chosen the name; it appeared in direct response to an unspoken question. Only later did I begin playing with its deeper resonance—Zen-door, the “door to what is”—a fitting metaphor for a life spent exploring the threshold between inner experience and outer reality, science and spirituality, and ultimately the question of what it means simply to be.
A couple of years later, while producing and hosting One World television in Phoenix, another piece fell naturally into place. During a taping one evening, a crew member simply called me “Zen.” The shortened name caught on among the crew, cascaded into the rest of my life, and I embraced it. What began as the mysterious arrival of Zendor had become something simpler and more accessible—Zen—a name that has remained with me ever since.
Symbolic Analysis of Personal Emblem
The Watchful Crown
The Left Eye (Udjat) and Right Eye (Wadjet) of Horus/Ra stand as twin guardians of perception. In myth the eyes represent the Moon and the Sun, integrating intuition with illumination. Esoterically they confer protection, holistic vision, and the capacity to see through hidden realms—setting an awakened, vigilant tone for the entire mandala.
The Six-Pointed Matrix
The interlaced triangles form the Hexagram: fire pointing upward, water downward, depicting the alchemical marriage of heaven and earth, spirit and matter. In Merkaba lore it is the light‑body vehicle; in Hermetic doctrine, the symbol of “As Above, So Below,” generating a stable field in which six satellite glyphs can operate.
Numeric Poles
666 (Apex): Far beyond the “mark of the beast,” 666 equals the sum of the Sun’s magic square and mirrors carbon’s 6‑proton, 6‑neutron, 6‑electron structure. It therefore encodes solar vitality and embodied consciousness—the perfected human in dense reality.
999 (Nadir): In angelic numerology 999 signals closure, harvest, and global service—the omega note of a cycle. Flipped from 666, it gestures toward the transmutation of carbon‑self into a spirit‑led, humanitarian self, completing the evolutionary arc sketched by the star.
Peripheral Triangle Symbols
Cancer (Upper Left)
Astrological Cancer (♋︎) is ruled by the Moon and opens the seasonal cycle as a cardinal water sign. Mystically it is the cosmic womb: tides, memory, ancestral waters, and protective nurturance. Its placement invites the seeker to begin in feeling—the subtle, compassionate intelligence that gestates all further transformation.
Scales – Ma’at / Libra (Lower Left)
The balancing Scales invoke Ma’at’s feather test in Egyptian myth as well as Libra’s quest for equilibrium. They remind us that every action is weighed; harmony is not passive but the ongoing calibration of thought, word, and deed. On the spiritual path, this glyph exhorts ethical alignment and karmic responsibility.
Sword of Truth (Point Down, Upper Right)
A downward‑pointing Sword signals victory already won—strength sheathed in peace. Associated with Archangel Michael and Manjushri’s wisdom blade, it cuts through illusion and cements discernment. Energetically it channels focused will, anchoring clarity without aggression.
Sword / Tongue (Point Up, Additional Reading)
When envisioned point‑up, the blade evokes the human tongue, emphasizing the mystical power of speech—‘the sword of the Word.’ In Hermetic and Biblical traditions, the Logos creates reality through vibration; here the upward sword represents truth articulated, the active expression of wisdom through sound. It also hints at kundalini rising along the spinal blade, piercing the crown with higher insight.
Yin Yang (Lower Right)
The Taijitu depicts the ceaseless dance of complementary forces. Yin contains the seed of yang, and vice versa, teaching that wholeness is dynamic, not static. Within the star it guarantees that every polarity—light and dark, inner and outer, matter and spirit—finds regenerative balance.
Whirling Solar Cross (Center)
At the heart spins a four‑armed, swastika‑like Whirling Cross. Appearing from the Indus Valley to Native American sun wheels, it marks the rotational life‑force moving through the four directions and elements. Modern mystics read it as the torsion field of the heart or Merkaba, constantly turning potential into creative expression.
Putting It All Together
Viewed as a multi‑dimensional compass:
1. Eyes confer awareness.
2. The Hexagram frames the interactive field.
3. The 666 to 999 axis charts the pilgrimage from raw carbon embodiment to altruistic completion.
4. The peripheral glyphs map the toolkit—beginning in feeling (Cancer), achieving balance (Scales), wielding discernment (Sword down), voicing truth (Sword up / Tongue), and sustaining polarity harmony (Yin Yang).
5. The central cross animates the whole, life‑force continually turning potential into expression.
As Above, so Below; through Compassion, Balance, Truth, and Harmony, the wheel of Life turns matter into awakened service.