Letting Go of Fear
I’m not sure if this will make sense or not, but I hope that at least some things will be palatable. Many of us are looking for truth and experiencing a wide range of chances to vet our perception. In the overall scheme of things there are certain indicators that let us know we’re on the right track. The very first Contact in the Desert at Joshua Tree, California in 2013 was really intense for me, with the pre-event sense that I just ‘had to be there.’
Sometimes I get tapped on the shoulder to do things that I wouldn’t necessarily choose to do, but end up doing them nevertheless. I had one of those moments recently. I’d like to share it because I think it is important. I risk appearing like I live in a separate reality, but that is not the case. Sometimes I wish I did, though. These moments are very real and yet are only a fraction of my life.
I was present during the opening of an event recently. I was feeling fine initially, but then as the speaker was opening his talk there was a moment where he created a moment of sympathy from the audience. In that moment I felt a sharp poke in the area of my liver. It didn’t seem too important at first, but throughout the day the pain got worse. I wasn’t thinking about when I first noticed it until sometime later when I had more time to focus.
I was traveling with a friend. We had arrived early in the morning and just got a little sleep. I made a pot of coffee and had a couple of cups before walking down to the cafeteria where breakfast was being served. I had a couple more cups while enjoying reconnecting with some folks I hadn’t seen in a while. I normally have several cups of coffee first thing in the morning and don’t eat until noon, so this was par for the course as far as my daily activity was concerned.
Later that afternoon I mentioned the pain in my side to my traveling companion and we thought it might have been due to the water I used to make the coffee earlier. As it turned out, the water wasn’t the cause. The pain kept getting worse as I was walking around the event in the late afternoon. I returned to the cottage we’d rented and decided to lie down for a while, hoping to just work through it. It kept getting worse, to the point of nearly causing me to double up. I can tolerate a lot of pain, but it got so bad that I thought I was going to have to be taken to a hospital. Thank I made a choice to go within.
I had learned how to do deep meditation some years ago, but hadn’t needed to go beyond pain for quite some time. I had the impression that it was necessary to go into that space now, so I began to go through the process. After some time I was inside far enough that I’d turned off all outer disturbances and quieted my mind as well. I had found that place of silence within that we all know is there and is often so difficult to reach.
As I went deeper and deeper I came to a place where something shifted, like a frequency band went from one to another. It was a noticeable shift in the sensation I was experiencing, like dropping into a lower gear but the vibe was higher indeed.
Within moments of recognizing this shift I heard, “We’ve been waiting for you,” just as clear as day. I recognized the voice as one I’ve heard many times before, a cosmic cohort of sorts that precipitates ‘meetings’ with a type of council that I still haven’t been able to completely ‘label.’
The voice went on to say, “We needed to get your attention and this was the only way to do it.” I immediately reflected on the ‘pain’ I’d been feeling and choosing to move into the meditation rather than go to the hospital. I’ve had events like this before, but obviously not enough to recognize the process. I understood completely, though, and began to relax even more.
I was now in a comfort zone with this group, even though I knew it was going to be a bit uncomfortable in working through the conversation with them. It always is.
It’s a deep process of overcoming a situation that is usually associated with a larger reflection in the ‘thoughtmosphere’ of humanity. I know it sounds close to bordering megalomania, but I’ve been through it enough to know it isn’t about me at all. In fact, it’s more like I become a guinea pig of sorts (without harm) in being ‘forced’ to ask pertinent questions that reveal deeper awareness and understanding which transcends an old belief system or pattern of intellectual behavior.
So not that I’m there and through some initial inquiries I understand that we’re going to be working on some kind of fear-based pattern that has prohibited the growth of consciousness in the thoughtmosphere of humanity. The initial entrance of this pattern, which is as much a part of the thoughtmosphere as any, is through a door in consciousness created by becoming vulnerable. The speaker created the opening earlier in the day and without proper awareness (filters) it can lead to adoption of a fear-based thoughtform without being consciously aware of it.
The explanation and understanding seemed to be immediate, but the cycle of questions that kept coming back to it continued for some time. I was told at the end of it that I would be able to relax, go to sleep and wake up without the intense pain I’d been experiencing. However, I had to come up with the questions that exhausted all possible entrances into this particular pattern so that the ‘portal’ could be at least inhibited if not closed and that by doing so the baseline for consciousness in humanity could be moved up a notch. They told me it was an arduous process, but it was necessary for any kind of progress.
During the ‘session’ I had to get up and go to the bathroom several times. Part of my ‘practice’ as a healer is to take on the discordant energy and then release it through urinating of defecating. The method was introduced to me as a teenager as a way to cleanse the energy, releasing all the ‘stuff’ through normal body functions, a bit more consciously. I’ve found it to work wonders.
I heard my traveling companion come in and check on me several times, but usually was too deep to make the effort to interact. There was a time, though, when I opened my eyes and said, “This one is clean,” with the overtones of the old woman on Amityville Horror and ‘this house is clean.’
I have to admit it was still possible that something outside of the ‘energy,’ like something in the water, might have been the root cause for my discomfort. It certainly had the symptoms of such. I cannot discount the possibility. I had eaten very little, some fruit and health bars, during the day.
I was feeling a bit dehydrated and my trips to the bathroom were within a few minutes of drinking a large glass of water. Still, there seemed to be more that was going on at a more subtle level of consciousness. I was confused and intensely curious as to what the hell was going on.
I’m sure he was a bit concerned because in all the time we’ve known each other he has never seen me in such a condition. He is much more analytical and pragmatic, initially believing that it was the tap water that had caused my stomach disorder. Wrong side of the body, though, as it was centered more in my liver area, just below the surface of my skin. After I spoke to him he smiled and left, knowing that I was okay for now. I went back in and continued the process, going even deeper still this time.
The experience was like flying around a Maypole, coming into center and then getting spun out again, each time was with a different question from a different perspective or point of view. It got to the point where I became a bit frustrated with the line of questions. It had been hours, it seemed, and I just wanted to go to sleep.
My mind was so active that it was impossible to do so in this place and space time with the engagement of this council. I say ‘council’ because there were obvious differences in the tone or vibration of the participants as I engaged the questions and subsequent answers unraveled.
They did unravel in a way that I both heard and saw examples of how the effects of the shift in consciousness empowered change within the behaviors of humanity over time. I understood it would be painstakingly slow, but that it was happening. I knew that any change, global or otherwise, takes patience and time for it to permeate the mind and environment where the change is needed. It’s just the way change works.
I did have moments during this experience where I became deeply grateful for being able to answer the call, even with the discomfort I had to bear in order to get to this place. I suppose like anything, change happens because the pain of staying the same becomes unbearable.
I eventually fell asleep around midnight or so and I don’t recall any dreams that night. I’d ‘gone in’ around 6, so it was quite the long ordeal. It was almost like taking a journey on a psychotropic, but I had not done anything like that in years. I eventually got to a place where I realized you can take heaven by storm, but you have to learn how to walk in the front door on your own to make it real.
Speaking of making it real, the following morning’s events certainly did the trick. I stopped in to listen to several speakers and one panel discussion. You know how timing is when you are ‘on it.’ Well, with no exception every stop included someone mentioning the need for moving away or up from a fear-based mentality. It’s one thing to know it, but I hadn’t heard so many actually speak about it.
First, Celeste Yarnell was giving her introduction on a panel moderated by George Noory. The first words I heard come out of her mouth were, “We need to let go of our fear.” Generally the previous panel discussions had been about conspiracy and/or disclosure and way too often carried an undercurrent of some fear-based thoughtform. That morning was completely different. Something had shifted.
I still had to question what was going on. Even though I have such bizarre things happen regularly, it seems, I still rip it apart in my own mind. I want proof that it happened, or at least some kind of corroboration. I thought the well-timed entrances and utterances of the morning’s events were such evidence, but I got even more that seemed to let me know I was leading the way.
I was standing and talking with Kim Carlsberg outside one of the lecture halls. She had her books and photography set up there. As we were talking, and I don’t remember about what, the speaker and I said ‘so’ at the same instant and we were both aware it had happened.
She gave me one of those ‘looks’ and we continued talking. Moments later I (again I don’t recall the specifics) I said, ‘workshop’ and with no pause at all the speaker said, ‘workshop’ instantly after me. This time Kim made a comment like, ‘whoa dude, that’s getting a little too weird.’ Well, maybe it was. Still, it let me know I was in tune.
Now I would offer that in some way the ‘energy’ of the thoughtmosphere of humanity has indeed changed to a slight degree and that we are continuing to shift consciousness toward transforming our beautiful planet and its people. Where are we going? We’re recognizing that we are consciousness condensed into form and we have the choice as to how we are ‘terra-forming’ the thoughtmosphere.
I know this story sounds way ‘out there’… but isn’t the truth ‘out there’ somewhere? Could it also be that the ‘truth’ is inside each of us somehow and we are just beginning to find and share it? The latter is probably happening to you right now, too.