On the Way to the Forum

Before you get started, this is a rather long post. Grab a cup of your favorite liquid and settle in for a bit. You’ll find this story one that will stretch your mind a bit. Admittedly, had I not experienced it, there would be great skepticism. Even experiencing it, there is still great skepticism for me personally, so I can totally relate to the seeming incredulity others may perceive. I’d only ask that you suspend your bias, cognitive or otherwise. Consider the scope of a highly sensitive person instead.

August 15, 1987, on the way to work at the aerospace company I was employed that Friday morning, before dawn, I was listening to a local classic rock station. The morning crew was talking about this ‘Harmonic Convergence’ thing. They mentioned it a couple of times between tunes. I had a really weird feeling come over me as I listened. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

I felt more than a little curious about this event. My solar plexus started vibrating like nothing I’d experienced in quite some time… since college in the mid-70s after I’d had my mind blown and sensitivities unleashed after an extraordinary experience. I didn’t understanding what was happening, but I did know that I had better pay attention. Something was up big time.

On their next break I listened as the DJs explain a bit more about José Arguelles’ book, The Mayan Factor and the crossing of three calendars on this date (August 16-17, 1987). Something was stirring deep inside that I hadn’t felt for a long time. It felt like a part of me I had been missing for quite some time was beginning to be reawakened. I felt ecstatic and frightened. I had to call them and find out more.

By the time I got to work I was so curious I called the radio station as soon as I could. I asked how I could get more information. They said to call the Crystal Castle in Sedona; that they could help, along with picking up copies of José’s interview in Meditation Magazine that were available at Changing Hands Bookstore in downtown Tempe. I began to craft a plan, though I knew I had to be a bit secretive because my wife (now ex) was spooked by my metaphysical nature. I had an idea for the family to enjoy a weekend in Sedona.

Later that morning, I called my wife and suggested we take off for the weekend to go camping near Sedona. I suggested packing up the kids and heading up north for a weekend trip to Sedona and perhaps into the wilderness to camp. Camping was a regular event for us, with now a fourth child. They ranged from 7 months to 7 years. She sounded excited at the suggestion. We talked more after I got home that day and agreed to leave as soon as possible when I got off work Saturday at noon.

Preparation and Precognition

According to the folks at the Crystal Castle, during my call, Sedona was one of the ‘gathering places’ of people around the world for the Harmonic Convergence… whatever that meant. This was all new to me, but it felt familiar for some reason. I had a sense of spiritual anticipation, for lack of a better. Something was brewing that was eerie and exciting.

I stopped at Changing Hands bookstore on my way home the next day and picked up a copy of José’s interview. I scanned it quickly and wanted to read it more later that evening once we were settled in our camping spot. The whole experience was connected to something much more than I imagined. I could feel it deeply beyond the story José mentioned in the interview.

As we were packing the car to head out, my oldest daughter (7 at the time) had collected a bag of large pieces of crushed limestone and handed it to me saying, “Here Daddy, you need to take these.” She had a huge smile on her face when she gave them to me. It seemed like she was already tuned in to something and was operating on a sense uncommon to adults, yet still quite present in children of her age.

I thanked her for her instincts and packed them in the trunk with our gear. I had no idea how they would come into play. She loved to take an active role in our family outings. She and her sister (18 months younger) were both telepathic as children, but I never spoke to my wife about their abilities. I knew they were receptive because they responded to me regularly when I’d call for them without saying a word. It was something I enjoyed quietly, gently reminding them of ‘listening to your belly’ when they were confused about anything.

As we were just about to finish loading, I heard Zephyr in my head, telling me to get the mushrooms I had in the freezer. I had a kind of shamanic practice of visiting the desert occasionally and going inside for an extended period. Sacred plants assist that journey immensely. This was unacceptable to me in family excursions, so I refused immediately. I was not going to take them with us. I argued with him because my journeys were never with my family present. My personal path I chose to keep away from them.

Zephyr would not let up and if you’ve ever had a constant voice in your head demanding attention, knowing you weren’t crazy, it is more than a bit annoying, let alone disconcerting. I eventually gave in just to get him to shut up. I think that’s what we do in life with others, too. We acquiesce rather than standing our ground. Sometimes that is definitely a good thing; at others, not so much.

My wife did not agree with my personal path when it came to this kind of activity either. Sacred plants, their purpose and wisdom, were not something she could understand or support.  Her previous experience had been too overwhelming when she had to face her own demons. They frightened her, I think, because they showed her things she wasn’t prepared to see. The shock some experience is just too much and it sends them in an opposite direction of self-awareness and discovery.

It did not stop me, although I did reserve my spiritual path work for short periods with long intervals in between, sometimes years. Alas, I packed the mushrooms to acquiesce in the moment, although I was not intending to take them regardless. I was pacifying Zephyr for the most part… I thought. Little did I know.

Harmonic Convergence with Multiple Aspects?

When we arrived in Sedona the first place we stopped was at the Crystal Castle. It is quite the metaphysical smorgasbord. The store, in an old two-story house along the banks of Oak Creek, had all kinds of items from books to crystals to wands, potions, music and jewelry. Our eldest let out an ‘ooo, Daddy’ as we walked in.

Inside we were surrounded by soft and soothing native flute music playing, too, and I wanted to hang out for a while. We had an agenda, though, and the clock was ticking. I pushed past the urge to move and let them explore for a bit. It was early and there weren’t that many in the store, so I struck up a conversation with the guy behind the counter.

Our two elder girls picked out a crystal that appealed to them in some special way, an Amethyst and Quartz. I encouraged them to just ‘feel’ their way through their selection. The oldest had picked a beautiful amethyst piece that fit perfectly in the palm of her little hand. Her sister and our son both chose their own as well, rose quartz and smoky quartz. They were all so happy with their special stones.

I inquired about the camping locations and was given a few spots to check out, along with a map. We left and drove around Sedona to check out the various places the folks had suggested. It was disappointing in that nothing ‘felt’ right. I hadn’t played with my senses like that for a long time. Stopping frequently to explore places did allow the kids to have some fun in the midst of my angst.

We drove around for hours, picked up a couple of commemorative shirts during our course, but didn’t find anything that seemed like it was remotely where we were supposed to be that night. None of them ‘felt’ right so I followed my hunch to go just a bit east, across the freeway, to Mormon Lake. I didn’t know why it felt appropriate, but off we went. It seemed synchronistic, though.

It felt synchronistic because we were involved with the Mormon Church at the time. We were converts and I had recently been ‘bestowed’ with the Melchizedek Priesthood; a hands-on process only present in the LDS church. It seemed like it might be a neat place to spend the night, too. We had never been there before, but we’d heard about it from others. The strange thing about the area was that the ‘lake’ was only a few feet deep if there was water at all; most of the year it was just a marsh.

Campsite Enigma Turns Euphoric

When we arrived at Mormon Lake about a half an hour later, it was dark already. We didn’t have a map, but we got there okay. I’ve always been good at finding places with little direction. I was concerned about finding a campsite, though, especially after dark.

We passed a campground right after we turned toward the lake, but I didn’t ‘feel’ anything. We came upon a place called Dairy Springs Campground next. I felt a tug and turned in. Finding the spot was a bit synchronistic if ever there was a moment like it, beginning at the end of our options.

We pulled in and drove all the way around the campground, finding no space open at all… bummer. I was not feeling happy about having to look elsewhere, especially in the dark. I knew I felt the tug, but it didn’t seem like it was working. My thoughts were soon quelled as we were headed back toward the front.

We’d noticed a car with its trunk lid open on the way in, commenting about them just getting there, too. We were wrong, though. The space where they had been was now open. It felt strangely synchronistic and perfect for us, although I kept silent and said nothing to my wife other than, ‘How perfect could that timing have been?’ and just let it go. She offered a pleasant and unexpected reply, “Looks like the angels are looking out for us.”

It was space number 9. My mind repeated… number 9, number 9, number 9; I thought it reminiscent of the Beatles. I heard Jimi Hendrix’s tune, “If 6 were 9” echoing in my head as well. I could sense a magical air, yet I had to remain quiet and attend to the family’s needs. I was again reminded of the Ascended Master’s admonition, ‘To know, to dare, to do, and to be silent.’

I need to digress here a moment. I met Jimi as he appeared in place of a friend’s body one night during college. We’d been talking about the limits of telepathy while taking a nice long walk around campus.

Later, while lying on the beds on either end of the dorm room gazing into each other’s eyes as we listened to some music, his body disappeared and I saw Jimi, then Lenny Bruce, then Marilyn Monroe, then Jim Morrison, then Janis Joplin and then my friend again. What a trip… I had no idea why. I saw what I saw, though.

His eyes shifted focus upon his return and when I asked him what happened (I was reluctant to say anything), he said he felt like he’d gone someplace else for a moment. He could say how or where, just that he was ‘gone’ for a few seconds. I told him what I had seen in his place. I wasn’t sure why, but we had ‘experienced’ something beyond explanation.

Back to Mormon Lake, I thought this campsite would be the perfect place, but was still unaware of just how perfect it would be for us. I just felt relieved that we were able to set up camp, have dinner and treat the kids to s’mores, the delightful campfire staple.

We began unpacking. The park ranger came up to collect the fee, informing us of our luck. The wife of the couple that was there had become ill and they had to leave. I was happy for our open spot, even though it came by their misfortune and was sorry for her exquisitely-timed illness.

We started a campfire so the kids could fix hotdogs and smores. I spread out the tarp we brought, and put our sleeping blankets on it. The weather was perfect, so not having a tent was fine. Stargazing was going to be spectacular, with clear skies at higher elevation. It was cool and comfortable with a slight breeze wafting through the trees offering a soothing sound and the fresh scent of pine.

Checking In Synchronistically Symbolic

Our eldest went exploring a short distance away, still visible by the light of the campfire. She shouted with joy when she found a place to put her rocks. She ran back excited to show me what she had found. She grabbed my hand and we headed toward her discovery. Her excitement was infectious.

The place she’d found was the top of a large bolder just protruding through the surface. The boulder must have been huge as he protrusion formed a nearly flat area about a meter or so in diameter. I wasn’t sure how many stones we had in the bag, but I had a good feeling we would have fun finding out. We sure did, to our delight and surprise.

I got the impression to make a hexagram with a circle surrounding it, with my daughter’s amethyst placed in the center as a power point. We spread the rocks out in the star pattern of a hexagram, with a circle of stones around it. Like it had been pre-planned and perfectly executed in picking up the stones, there were just enough to put 6 in each leg of the star and 18 in the circle surrounding them with none left over. She was tuned in alright. Imagine if you were like that.

I told her I was so excited that this was just perfect and so proud that she listened to her belly. How else could you explain that to a 7-year old? She smiled so big that I knew she felt something too. We’d had many talks about listening to her belly and her telepathic ability was quiet obvious at times. I also knew it wouldn’t be easy for her, though didn’t know just how tough at the time.

We put the amethyst she got at Crystal Castle in the center as a focal point and in honor of her find because she was such a wonderful part of this process. A father can only dream of these kinds of events with their children, imho. I had the opportunity to experience it. I had a particular affinity for amethyst, too, my favorite color – purple. She was so happy she could hardly stand still. I still remember her excitement as I write this decades later.

I helped everyone get settled in their sleeping bags with our youngest snuggled in with mom. She was only 7 months old at the time, born on January 21st. The other three spent a little more time around the campfire with me, making smores, playing with the embers and watching the sparks ascending into the darkness. About a half-hour later, they were ready for bed, so I helped them get into their sleeping bags, kissed them goodnight and wished them sweet dreams. I stayed up to read José’s interview by our propane camp light.

I felt the quivering as I picked up the article. “What the heck is going on?” I thought.  As I read about the crossing of three calendars, the Hopi, Mayan and Aztec I reflected on the symbol Zephyr presented to me years ago. The Hopi believe that this is the beginning of moving from the fourth world to the fifth, the Mayan from the fifth to the sixth, and the Aztecs believe it is the time where the devil takes off his mask to reveal the true god that he is. Hmmm…

I was fascinated by the confluence of calendars. I learned much later that the Egyptian, Hindu and Sumerian calendars also noted this particular event, leading up to the winter solstice of 2012. It was supposed to be the period between one galactic year to the next, an ascension of consciousness was supposed to accompany this grand celestial event.

José went on to say that above the gathering places could be seen a rotating feathered serpent medicine wheel as a symbol of the energy anchored at these locations. I thought it strange and wondered just how these could be visible to the naked eye. I didn’t consider the ‘second sight’ at the time.

There was a wonderful drawing of what looked to be part serpent and part dragon. It also included a rough drawing of the rotating feathered serpent medicine wheel on one of the pages, along with some Mayan glyphs I don’t remember just now.

The article also briefly explained the planetary alignment that was taking place along with the crossing of calendars. It was supposed to start a 25-year period leading up the 2012 date. There is another 25-year period after that point in time where the moment of awareness turns into real change on a global scale that benefits humanity; the rise of consciousness in action.

I was curious as to what the implications of the devil taking off his mask would be as I already understood the aspects of the number (666) and its relationship to human beings as ONE, rather than the number of the Beast as has been the popular belief. The carbon atom which is the foundation of organic life forms has 6 protons, 6 neutrons and 6 electrons.

I finished the article, stripped down to my garments and settled into my sleeping bag just before midnight. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep. The air was clean and I could hear a ram pump a short distance away with the consistent ‘thick-kung’ sound reverberating in the air like a constant drum beat every few seconds. It served as a lullaby in a way, much gentler than my description of the sound.

I Told You NO… Holy Shit!

Sometime later I was awakened by Zephyr’s voice. “Partake!” was all he said, LOUDLY. I slowly came to consciousness and argued with him initially. “ParTAKE!” he said again, slightly firmer. I whined about the family being there and it just was not appropriate. “PARTAKE!!!” he said as though commanding me to comply with his order immediately. I knew he wasn’t going to stop until I complied.

Alright, alright…. and so I did. I only had a few, so I got them, chewed them up and swallowed. I went back to sleep right afterward knowing that I’d awaken again soon in a different state of mind. I offered a prayer for deep connection to Creator and to be available for my highest service to all. I was bereft of any other notions as I had no idea what he, or others, had in store for me.

When I awoke a short time later, feeling the effects and an increased awareness and intensely heightened sensitivity that had a high-pitched sensation as well, I opened my eyes and looked up into the sky. The stars were so vivid. I saw a cluster so brightly visible that it looked like a connect-the-dots picture of the Buddha, and I was sitting at his feet. I was soon to find out these were stars of a different variety.

As soon as I recognized this image and my position I heard a voice like many speaking as one, “We would like to channel energy through your body, into the planet and, in return, we will answer any questions you have.” Holy shit! What would you do? It seemed as though they were asking permission and I didn’t take long to decide… maybe a heartbeat or two at most. “Awesome! I’m ready! Okay, let’s do it!” I wasn’t sure what to expect at all, though I knew it was going to be spectacular. I just needed to let go of any attachments and inquire from my depths.

I felt a slight tingle in my feet like a very small electric current, piezo-electric I think it is called, like a trickle that is barely noticeable. This sensation remained there for a while as I began the litany of questions I knew I could come up with then. Over the course of the question/answer session, the sensation eventually began to move up my legs and throughout my body over the course of the experience. It was pretty amazing and I could definitely feel the energy.

My first question was about the possibility of them being part of the group that visited me as a youth (Zendor the Barbarian Vol 1). I reflected on the many trips, watching my physical body get out of bed, climb out my bedroom window, walking across the neighbor’s back yard to the edge of a pasture, climbing the fence and walking out into the middle of the field.

As I walked I saw myself begin to rise up off the ground and, looking up, I could see an orange cigar-shaped cloud that could easily have been a half-mile long or so. When I got to the perimeter of the cloud, my ‘observer’ would meld with my physical body and I would enter the cloud.

I’d wake up in bed the next morning, with no memory of what happened inside the cloud, but I always had a feeling of something really fun happening inside and I couldn’t wait to go back.

It wasn’t until just before moving to Phoenix that I had an inkling of what really happened. I was walking through some bookshelves in a small metaphysical bookstore in Muncie, Indiana when a book literally fell off the shelf a few feet in front of me. It had opened on the floor with the cover facing up. I thought that was rather odd and way cool. Something made the book fall.

Strangers Among Us

I picked up the book, examined the cover – Strangers Among Us by Ruth Montgomery. I turned it over and my eyes were drawn to a paragraph that, paraphrased, said that the orange cigar-shaped clouds were the most common ‘contactee’ events in the Midwest in the late 50s and early 60s. That time was during my experiences. “WTF!?” I thought. I felt like a series of dominoes just fell in my head, cascading through a series of dotted pieces of my life.

They affirmed they were part of my family, but also said there was much more to who they were as part of my universal family. I was one of them, and affirmed I knew so as well, though it was hidden from view still. I felt my mind let go and another part of me step in, from a much greater depth, almost like I felt when I entered the light. I felt fearless and completely safe, but I had a nagging question of its reality.

While the energy was continuing to flow through my lower legs, I formulated some questions. I started with inquiring about my early experiences. I wanted to know more about my ‘family’ and why I had all the experiences as a youth. Was it real? What was the purpose? Was it also connected to my messy antic period in college?

What they said had me second-guessing life as I knew it; all my belief systems got shattered and thrown into oblivion. I was from the stars, they said, born on Earth as part of a universal process to restore ancient knowledge and wisdom that had been lost. I had to learn what it was like to be human; my adoption was part of the program. I had to naturally question my life’s order, which started with the questions of, ‘Who are my real parents?’ and ‘Do I have a father and mother in heaven?’ with ‘..and can I talk to them?’

The early out of body experiences were guided by other members of my family in order to prepare me to be able to witness the trips to the ship. It was important that I was able to remember the initial part of the ‘sessions’ for comfortability and the roll-out of the instruction would happen as I was presented various situations in life with sincere inquiry.

My education continued on board, but my human mind would not be able to comprehend what was happening, yet. There were too many aspects of my consciousness that to reveal them all as a youth would not have been healthy for my development in a denser environment. I was allowed to have some memory so that the curiosity and development would continue. I realized their wisdom from my later experience in college of being institutionalized for a short time.

The early ‘training’ I received was in the art of what some call Eckankar, or soul travel. It sparked my interest in both Eckankar and Scientology in college. The programs helped me begin to develop the awareness I seemed to have on a more conscious level. I’m not the only one on this journey. Others have their own paths with similar experiences, leading them toward their perfected form, fit and function in the world. We’d all find solace in one another eventually, coalescing in the New World Order I was told about in college.

The ease I had in exploring inner realms was because I had been in them for some time already, yet it was a challenge for the human brain to assimilate into the denser Earth realm. It was even more of a challenge not to analyze and just experience an event fully, without separation of the observer-self. I suppose resistance is futile. The brain/mind is often a trap because of its desire to categorize and compartmentalize.

I snapped back into the critical part of my consciousness for a moment, checking in with what I read and studied about in school beyond the bookwork required for the classes. The books included the Vedas, Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita and parts of the Urantia Book. It all made sense at a level I hadn’t thought about yet. I knew my mind was on overdrive and these thoughts certainly weren’t going to occur on a normal day-to-day basis. Life had too many distractions, duties and responsibilities to think at such heights, let alone BE in them.

They told me there was so much more yet to be revealed, but it would come in a more natural process. The sacred plants allowed access to my consciousness in a different way; a process that had been used throughout the development of the spiritual understanding garnered by some of the human race to date, across many cultures. They would be unnecessary as time went on and the world view changed en masse. I wondered when, and all I got was assurance it would in the future.

I had many other emotional experiences that have prepared me to understand the deeper principles of being. Being highly sensitive, like many others, I feel things much more deeply on a sensory level, akin to what are known as the ‘Clare-alls’ of psychic abilities. All of the early experiences in my life were preparatory for awakening to my purpose. In time I would be given fuller details but for now the bridging of inner and outer realities, something I’d already been curious about, would take years, perhaps decades, of training still. I wasn’t too happy about that, though I understood.

Surreal and yet so REAL

All of this seemed rather surreal and far-fetched but there was something that resonated within me, something I knew was true but could not articulate how I knew it. I shifted back to the feeling of the energy slowly moving up my calves and into my thighs. I had to be silent to feel it, completely free of distractions – my thinking.

I was aware there was more going on with the energy they were channeling through my body than I was being told. It didn’t matter because I was so engaged in the experience and the sensation of being part of something cosmically oriented. All I could do was enjoy the ride at the time. The continued trials and tribulations in store would suffice for the learning, of that I was sure.

Thinking about the cosmic applications I had a quick thought about the points of light I saw in college. My thoughts were like triggers to them to move on, too. I recalled the imagery and the message I was given. As magnificent as it was, my questions of ‘how?’ and ‘what do I need to do to prepare?’ were ever-present in my quiet moments of contemplation. I had and have a lot of those quiet moments each day.

I realized these points that appeared now where indeed connected and I felt so deeply appreciative for the opportunity to continue the conversation. When I first encountered them I was in no place to converse as the feeling of awe kept me from thinking at all, until after my return. I just experienced the moments as an undeniable connection beyond my awareness; a sense of BEing whole beyond the physical or emotional sense.

Now, the conversation picked up with the delivery of additional knowledge of the ‘how?’ for my benefit. My curiosity of whether the points of consciousness were in body or not originally were now further revealed through this process as ‘they’ began to demonstrate. There were not as many in this moment, and I imagined there were others off elsewhere doing their appointed duties.

They explained to me that these points of consciousness were indeed incarnate in others like me all over the planet. The manner in which they interacted with each other varies on the type of duties and responsibilities they were given. Given? Yes, each has a soular blueprint designed especially for carrying out their mission, like me, and that together we were like a mission-driven family bound by the soular strands of sentience. I would discover this eventually, I was told.

I had a moment of impatience in wanting to connect with these others. Patience, I was told, is tantamount to the process. I may never meet some of them. In fact, some may never truly know what their full consciousness is doing to support the process of establishing a new world order. The ‘duties’ don’t have to be linear or physical. In fact, the majority would be non-linear and non-local. It would be decades before I know what that really meant.

They explained that consciousness has many layers, many dimensions and even many bodies that are all connected. Each layer has its own function and, when fully realized, is made available to the individuated consciousness incarnate on Earth, yet not until they make the choice to become more aware in the physical. William Swygard, followed by Neppe and Close, would come later as I would discover and empathically resonate with them.

Even after that choice is made it could be days or years for the consciousness to develop within the human form. The aspects of each and their importance to the whole are different for everyone, though each is just as important for the whole, like threads in a tapestry no matter the size or color. However, the collective vision that operates from the ONE MIND is shared; backup plans are always in place in case of poor choices and distractions.

My mind was reeling at this point; attempting to keep up with the data stream of consciousness at these levels was pretty intense to say the least. I reflected on reiterations and resistance of others I’d read and studied earlier. There really is no language to effectively communicate the experience. It is visceral; purely sensory at levels we don’t have the capacity to cognate fully, let alone articulate presently.

I paused in my thoughts and became silent again, noticing the movement of energy up through my thighs and into my hips. I asked about my family and how I would be able to continue to live in the dichotomy with my wife, knowing my children were already showing signs of advanced awareness. I didn’t like the answer I got. It took me back to the initial message. I had to continue to show up in full vulnerability and service to my commitments to it, no matter what, and let go of the outcome. I’d heard that before.

They told me this path, like I’d been told before, is full of trials and tribulations. I may not be able to bridge the worlds with her and be together as a family. I needed to be aware of that now and prepare for the possibility. I was stubborn and refused to think I could not work things out. I paused to feel the sense of deep connection and, admittedly, deeper sadness of the truth. I already knew it wouldn’t last, though it did not pre-empt my behavior as a loving father and husband at all.

Well, I’ll Kiss Your What?

Then, as if to cause the complete opposite, they asked me to get up and kiss the amethyst that I had placed in the center of the star my daughter and I had made earlier. I refused completely. I wasn’t about to get out of my comfortable sleeping bag to appease some distant voice. It was quite chilly by then, too. I was being a jerk and met the challenge with great reluctance, putting up a good fight, so I thought.

The amethyst was some 15 meters away and it was a bit cold by that time at that altitude. I felt the snap back into my body as I looked around in the dark, faced with either accepting this as reality or believing it to be just a wild trip from the mushrooms – all in my imagination. NOT! Terrence McKenna would have a field day, as would Ram Dass and even Shakespeare. I knew it wasn’t my imagination, though perhaps there was a bit of imagineering.

I have to admit I was sort of hoping for the latter, as it sure would make it easier to completely dismiss if it was all just my imagination. My life was challenging enough and yet, I knew I had to demonstrate my commitment. I also knew that in such states other worlds open for experience. I’d experienced, read and studied shamanic practices enough to know special events can happen.

We were converts to the Mormon Church at the time; recently demonstrating our ‘worthiness,’ resulting in getting ‘married and sealed’ in the Temple in Mesa, Arizona.  I had on my garments, but it was more than chilly in the mountain air and I was not about to get out of my nice warm sleeping bag for some etheric voices, no matter how cool they seemed. I was being put to the test.

They withdrew their energy completely; like a vacuum just sucked it away in an instant… nothing but emptiness is what I felt then. It was a complete absence of the deep connection I’d been feeling since awakening in this experience. I could not deny the difference in sensation their absence produced as I lay there a moment and considered my options and position. It was easier to believe it was my imagination to a degree, but I could not at all rationalize the change of sensation.

I was processing so much so quick that it felt more like I was in an accelerated learning curve rather than an imaginary tale. I still wasn’t sure it was all real, but just in case I got up to do what they asked. Getting up and making the effort to test the truth of what was happening seemed to be more important than my selfishness. After all, I was on a pretty bizarre mission and my experiences had proven that beyond any doubt.

I got up and walked over to the circle, knelt and kissed the amethyst with as much reverence as I could bring forth in my being. If I was going to acquiesce to ‘their’ wishes, then I needed to do it with complete reverence. In that moment my prayer was to know truth once again, regardless of the impact on my life. I knew I risked it all… everything… by doing so. I felt completely alone and yet surrounded with support.

As soon as I was back in my sleeping bag and took a few moments to get silent, they were back again, almost instantly. Even in my current state, I could tell the difference in sensation and was glad I had gotten over myself. The change of sensation was undeniable. My thoughts drifted to the energy once again as it moved up to my lower abdomen and solar plexus. I suppose the exercise was an act of submission to a will beyond my own, as the solar plexus is the seat of the will.

They began to explain about the energy they were sending through me. They told me that this energy was part of everything, of creation, and flowed like water throughout all things when one becomes aware. It was a science that was not developed yet on our planet and it was time to awaken its reality. I was one of the few being awakened to this level of awareness now. ‘Thanks a lot!,’ I thought sarcastically.

I flashed on explaining it to others for a moment. Not a pretty picture based on my experiences to date. I sure didn’t like being called ‘full of Satan’ and I damn sure didn’t like the hospital incarceration. I also didn’t want anything to do with creating something for people to attach allegiance; there were too many gurus already. I had to remain free.

My visitors explained that sending this energy through my body into the earth would help connect many to a deeper feeling of communion as well as help to understand the process of what José had called ‘the ascension.’ It was a rising of consciousness within humanity; a push for planetary harmony. It had to happen from a very deep level of consciousness, inclusive of the connection with Earth, known by many names throughout the cosmos.

They explained it was more of a process of raising awareness about celestial consciousness than humans had known yet. This level of awareness in consciousness permeates creation, but humans were still entertaining their free will and satiating their physical senses to much to become aware just yet. Humans do not understand they are part of the Earth, too. Their physical bodies come from the Earth fed by nature.

According to them, this new understanding would facilitate a greater connection with the Earth and her people for me, so that I would be connected at energetic levels to the consciousness that pervades the Universe. I could sense the understanding of their wisdom, yet it was still too much for my mind to grok. I couldn’t even find words to try to think about it. It was all to do with energy, vibrations and the subtle activity of change within each human’s evolutionary path.

I understood deep within, but I was sure I could not put it into words if asked at the time. It was more of a sense of knowing, of understanding beyond words. I hadn’t tried to discuss any of my experiences with others for years, so I knew I’d be challenged to do so now. I was anxious to try, though. Perhaps it’s been received differently, yet the ability to be vulnerable and willing to write has allowed me to explore the language in order to learn how to communicate better.

They told me all would happen in time. I would eventually be able to articulate clearly and help make sense common to all. I mused on the flip of common sense and the comedic remark. I thought that was pretty humorous in such a serious conversation. I used that flip a lot later, framed as exploring common sense and then making sense common. It really does seem like common sense when you are introduced to such higher level activity.

I acknowledged that it would be an honor to live in such close connection with our Mother Earth and that I would serve her to the best of my ability. They explained that as a result of this process she would be speaking through me to many and that I would lead this group as I had led in the past. I was overwhelmed with anxiety for a moment with that transmission of information. Part of me wanted to reject it all. The bigger part of me accepted the role, with reservations still.

“I led in the past?” I thought.

I returned the vision of being surrounded by the points of light. I questioned the progress toward completing my mission; the marching orders I’d received during the experience of going through the white light and being told I was here to work with others in order to facilitate a’ new world order.’ I was still a bit unclear how such a ‘charged’ term could work.

They expressed that they were here now as part of the ‘help’ that was promised. They were here to assist me in making some adjustments to further align with my mission and that I had been doing very well so far. I took a deep breath of relief and just let go again. I noticed the energy moving up into my heart and chest area.

I was being ‘tuned in’ to the planetary grid system as part of my preparation now. I had no idea what the ‘planetary grid’ was but being a brainiac I figured it was how everything was connected energetically on the planet. I had a sense of what that meant, but I knew the grid was much more to be experienced.

I wanted to know about our heritage, where we began and how we gain knowledge of harmony among people and planet. The story that unfolded had me mesmerized for hours. It began through a vision of light condensing into form, something that completely caught me off guard and yet made me even more curious.

The imagery was spectacular, a rainbow-sparkled ball of light streaking across the universe and descending toward a lush green planet. When it reached the planet there was a flash as though the whole planet lit up for an instant, and then it was gone. The planet remained and I got the sense that a union had been created, between the light and the planet.

Then I saw a series of scenes with a variety of creatures that all behaved like tribes, working together in various ways to support their community. I saw cities and countryside that looked straight out of some science fiction movie with multiple suns and moons, flora and fauna from desert to tropical rain forests and gorgeous colors that were so vibrant they seemed alive.

I was so in awe that I wasn’t sure where I was at – in body, out of body or seeing it in person as I was so absorbed by the events. I felt like I was actually visiting these various places and even the residents were responding to my gaze with a quick glance my way on a couple of occasions.

The beings in each location were different, mirroring many of the life forms on earth yet displaying complete sentience and organization representative of civilization. The styles and types of buildings, although different in materials, all seemed to reflect elegant architecture combined with geometric shapes that appeared organic, malleable yet resilient and strong.

The cities had the feel of concentric circles for the most part, but then some of them actually lifted off the surface of the planets. The ‘countryside’ had such beauty in the integration of architectural structures that they were nearly invisible as habitations amongst the terrain.

The scenery passed by quickly, but I could identify many of the kinds of extraterrestrial beings I’d seen from drawings and dreams I’d had since childhood. There seemed to be dozens of worlds in all, each with a slightly different planetary landscape. Each world had completely different beings or bodies and all bi-pedal, or at least upright locomotion.

Even though I was in another world, or many, I still had the capability of critical thinking. I questioned the reason I was being shown all of this spectacular scenery and acknowledged my complete submission to whatever the narrators had in store. I felt eternal in those moments, alive and free of any constraints of consciousness.

I was told these were our ancestors, our brothers and sisters in the universe and that each had reached a state of consciousness where they were all connected to a universal mind, naturally in harmony with their surroundings. It took many hundreds of thousands of years for this to happen on each planet. Ours was ready for an evo-leap.

It took thousands of years just to accomplish the idea of ‘soul’ that we humans have developed. The consciousness transfers from one body to the next, semi-unconsciously, until that ‘eternal’ connection is made. It is a natural process of the evolution of consciousness that has condensed into a physical form. For most civilizations it happened as the lifespan increased to hundreds of years through learning about the connection of consciousness and physiology.

The density constrains the stream of human consciousness for a time while the physical being matures often taking many hundreds, sometimes thousands, of incarnations. Our planet had been in such a state long ago. I started to ask how it changed, but the thought seemed unimportant and I dismissed it. We were here now and the past was the past. If I needed to know more, it would be presented at some point when appropriate.

The substance of the body is from each planet and returns to it until the consciousness opens the gate, like a computer program that has to run subroutines in the boot up process. Only the completed program just launches another set of subroutines until the link between the intellect and the soul is completely open. Then the bodies converge into one operating platform.

We might see it as God dwelling in man again; celestial consciousness condensed into form.

The result, according to the narrators, is a sense of oneness and willingness to operate free from intellectual pursuits driven by the desire to dominate the environment. Each individual soul has purpose, like a thread in the tapestry of life that is just as important as any other thread. The beauty of the tapestry is dependent on the threads, no matter the color, diameter or length.

When all the threads become aware of the tapestry, it becomes alive and seeks wholeness naturally – able to be viewed. Individuals are like fractals of the tapestry, able to contain the original yet finding form, fit and function within it as their own filaments combine to form the whole. It was then that I was shown spaceships of various designs and shapes; saucer-shaped, cigar-shaped, triangular-shaped, and sphere-shaped of various sizes. They all seemed to pulse with some kind of energy, like they were connected to a heart-beat of some kind.

It reminded me of the pulse I felt during an out of body experience while traveling through what seemed to be a wormhole. When I was completely silent, I could feel/hear this pulse that seemed bio-mechanical at the time based on the sound. I noticed the pulse as the foundation of the experience, even though I was able to argue points of order. I asked for clarification on many apparent miscommunications between the ‘wise’ and the ‘minions’ over time.

There was too much dualism in the human models and I wanted to understand the One’s unifying perspective. I felt like it was already a part of me, but I needed further enlightenment. I needed to practice The Work more. I got a telepathic narration that informed me that many of these races had advanced to the understanding that Jesus demonstrated, able to take their bodies with them. This did not inhibit further incarnations either.

As their body consciousness continued to develop, those who demonstrated a certain discipline were allowed greater integration with greater cosmic consciousness and, therefore, given even more responsibility in cosmic affairs. It all seemed so logical and pure. They eventually learned how to incarnate in other planetary forms, consistent with each planet, in order to assist other planetary civilizations during epochal changes, both in consciousness and planetary evolution. The scenes revealed what appeared to be catastrophic events, yet there was complete serenity in the transitions.

It really felt strange to observe and feel the sensations beyond emotions, like I was seeing through the eyes of God. It was amazing. I felt like ‘I’ completely disappeared, too. I understood the process of gaining awareness and self-actualization was the same for all beings, to a point. Like divisions of labor, those who had greater purpose garnered awareness of greater principles and universal understanding at a young age, far beyond the planetary civilization’s ability to comprehend in most cases.

That is, until the critical mass was effectively ‘seeded’ enough for the conversation to take on a new level. That level was what I was being prepared for here on Earth. In that space and time it all made perfect sense and I felt like I was ready for anything. Let’s rock! If this all makes sense, then you’ve obviously questioned reality and come up with similar answers. How will we proceed?

The sensations that accompanied this experience were amazingly scintillating, like I was completely free of any attachment to judging what was happening. Part of me knew that I was like a speck in the cosmos at the mercy of something way beyond anything I could comprehend in that moment, but another part of me was perfectly comfortable with what was happening, almost like it was more real than anything I’d ever known in my life. I mused at the paradox.

I let go and trusted, just as I had when I was asked if I was willing to die for what I believed in nearly half my life ago.  Real or not, I became a better person because of it. When I cycled back to the energy running through my body, I could feel it in my upper chest and throat now. They told me that there was a pair of shoes ready for me to step into if I was ready. Without hesitation, I pictured my purple Converse All-Star’s in their worn and tattered state; my favorite shoes for many years. I verified that they would provide all the tools and they would be there at the appropriate time just as had been promised to me in the beginning. It was risky, but I felt sort of comfortable with the decision.

I got the feeling of confirmation deep inside me, so I loosened up a bit more and allowed the energy to flow completely unimpeded by my body and mind once again. It felt like I was catapulted through the stars while simultaneously expanding to encompass them. I felt really big, yet invisible and unimportant at the time. With the previous event’s understanding reaffirmed, I agreed to step into the shoes. As soon as I agreed, it felt like every bit of tension that I apparently wasn’t aware of was now gone. I literally felt my body relax even deeper.

I felt free of everything.

Noting the difference in the sense of focus in the outer world in everyday living, it was so real and extraordinary to feel that sensation. I felt huge now, like I was the universe for a moment.

I was completely in awe at how this would all play out but the power of the moment was intimately unmistakable so I just listened intently. As I did, they told me part of a story about my life that seemed like I was in a fantasy world akin to some sci-fi adventure. It sure made me feel humble to say the least. I wondered if any of this would ever truly come to pass. Time alone would tell and I had a lot of work ahead.

I was not alone here, they said. There are others like me in various states of consciousness and positions along their own paths. The points of light I’d seen before and even among the group I was witnessing now, all operating in harmony with a greater plan and process. We all have specific duties and responsibilities; mine was to consciously facilitate the reunion of material and spiritual realms somehow.

The reunion was not at all like I thought; each comes together in the thoughtmosphere with their particular skill set being applied to the collective. Indeed it was like a collective messiah; free of any singular focus, as with Jesus, yet manifesting Christ Consciousness throughout. I felt relieved and transformed yet again. I longed for those connections already, yet knew it would be some years to come before it could or would happen.

Another question surfaced, “If God made us, who made God?” The immediate and only answer came in the form of the symbol that José had mentioned in the interview, a rotating white feathered serpent medicine wheel. It was huge, taking up nearly a third of the sky and way off in the distance. It was positioned in the sky rotating above Sedona. I mused over José’s words.

My line of sight happened to be in position with Sedona as I lay in the sleeping bag under the stars. The spin was a slow clockwise rotation and I just starred empty-minded at this beautiful image, letting it soak in. I knew I didn’t understand, but it didn’t matter. I let go again.

I knew then that there indeed was an answer in this rotating wheel, even though my human consciousness was not able to comprehend it yet. I knew that in time I would and they affirmed my feelings as well, noting that it would take some time for this entire experience to unfold completely in my consciousness and life.

What I did feel was imparted to me in that vision was that spin, the cycle, and that like José had said, we are in the beginning of a 50-year cycle, with 2012 as the midpoint. 2012 was the tipping point where the momentum of the rising of consciousness in humanity would finally be recognized globally and a new living awareness emerges as a result.

I returned to the silence again and felt the energy move into my third eye and crown area. My head was abuzz to say the least. I noticed that it felt and sounded like what I hear when completely quiet and the environment is silent as well. It’s a high-pitched whine that carries a slight oscillation, definitely confusing for those with tinnitus.

The next question addressed something that I was resistant to exploring even though I’d been mentored regarding it since childhood. “Am I the Rider of the White Horse?” I asked, almost ashamed for even bringing it up. I had this weird sense that I had something to do with it but I did more to dismiss the feeling than accept it for all of my life. I thought it was too self-aggrandizing to even consider it as a possibility, yet I cannot deny that the thoughts were there. What happened next was quite unexpected and totally cool.

I was immediately attracted to the lower right of my field of vision. As I looked over I saw a beautiful white horse, a quarter of the size of the area my field of vision as it came into view. It moved in a slow-motion gallop across the sky, majestic and regal in its appearance. I was completely engrossed in the view. As it reached the center of my vision, it turned and came straight toward me. I didn’t know what to think. My heart leapt and I felt like crying in joy, but it came from a place I’d never known within.

It was so beautiful that I got lost in the awe and forgot about my question because I was so absorbed in its grandeur. As it turned toward me I remembered I had asked the question. I felt so small and insignificant in that moment. I wanted to disappear. Still in awe I meekly inquired, “Am I?” As it came closer I felt even more humble and thought, “Am I?” like a child getting a gift he’d never thought possible. Then, as it reached the point of being right in front of me I accepted and acknowledged, “I AM!” It just felt right no matter my resistance.

As this magnificent being passed slightly to my right I reached my arm out to grab its neck as it came by and swung myself up to sit on its majestic back. It happened so quickly that I just responded without a second thought and found myself accordingly suspended above its back. An eternity seemed to pass in that moment. The instant I touched its back I heard a trumpet echo in the woods all around us. Instantly I was completely awake, noticing the sunlight was just beginning to offer a peak at the surrounding trees. I must’ve had my eyes closed for a while.

I knew I heard the trumpet with my physical ears and sat straight up in my sleeping bag, looking around for the trumpeter as if I’d see them somewhere close. I just knew I would. Alas, there was no one in sight, but I could hear others in the campground beginning to stir.

Stabbed in the Heart and I’m to Blame

With tears streaming down my face I gently nudged my wife to share with her what had happened, hoping she would feel the same excitement. As she opened her eyes and I began to express, she blurted out, “I thought you weren’t going to do any mushrooms.” My heart was crushed in an instant and I became completely silent and withdrawn. “Trials and tribulations,” I thought.

She did not know I even had them. But her first response flattened my excitement like a smashed bug on a windshield. I felt disappointed and destitute, hopeless and completely alone. I let go of my expectations and hurt as best I could, but the experience (both pain and pleasure) was undeniably real in oh, so many ways.

I had said nothing about the mushrooms, but she cut me down to size nonetheless. My heart broke in two as she turned the proverbial fire hose on me. I was speechless. I felt the distance between us ever so deeply in that moment. I knew it could never be bridged.

I could tell something was about to change drastically. We had worked through one affair already after her accident and the connection I hoped would develop felt like it was slipping away as part of the process I had to endure. Why me?

I could not deny what had happened, even under the influence of the mushrooms. It was too real and validated by the actions I was asked to take during the conversation and the interaction with the group of beings, whoever they were, felt like family.

I’ve got a good imagination, but it seemed to take me back to a previous profound position among the points of light as a teen. The strange thing was that they felt like they were part of a family I belonged to somehow, much the same as the previous encounter. The latter was after being asked if I was willing to die for what I believed in. There are many ways of dying, I found out.

I felt more connected to those points of light than any person, even my children. I only wish everyone could feel that sense of family unity and connection, beyond anything imaginable on Earth, like nothing else I’ve ever felt. The experience strengthened the awareness of responsibility I have toward my life and mission, beyond anything since the first contact as a teenager.

The following week I changed my business research project for my bachelor’s degree from a business case solution at work to the first writing of a project plan for a model community, then simply called an international cultural center. I didn’t have statistics to back up my plan, so it affected my grade tremendously.

I did have an interesting experience while doing some research at a large new age expo at the Phoenix Civic Center. I went there to see if there were any people presenting on community building, either lectures or vendors. The expo was called ‘Focus on You’ and it seemed more like it was geared toward new age products and services rather than community development.

I took my son with me so we could have some time together and introduce him to things beyond our everyday lives. I was dressed in lavender slacks, a purple pull-over, purple/lavender plaid cap I’d nearly worn out golfing and my trusty purple Converse All Stars. Ian, also clad in a purple ensemble, strode around the event as proud as his father.

We stopped just after turning a corner and watched as a gentleman demonstrated sending energy through a single-terminated quartz crystal about 4 inches in diameter. He was standing just outside his booth where there were two huge amethyst geodes from Brazil, nearly 3 foot in diameter and 10 foot long with sections removed and lights accenting the interior.

As he was completing his demonstration, I caught his eye and held up my hand. He mirrored my action and I sent a pulse of energy from my hand to his, or at least I imagined doing so. His eyes lit up, evidently feeling the pulse, and he walked quickly over to me. He looked deeply into my eyes and asked, “Are you Saint Germaine? I’ve been waiting for you.” I didn’t know what to say, so I just gazed back and remained silent.

I thought to myself that I really don’t know who I am yet. My adoption and birth record, or lack of them, along with the recent experiences gave me cause for concern. I was completely taken by surprise with his question and comment. I quickly turned the conversation toward the beauty of the amethyst geodes and my son’s fascination with them. I dismissed the event as being a random perception and just left it alone.

Over the years I’ve found that identity can be somewhat elusive at best, especially in the kinds of situations that come up out of the blue. Whenever others recognize me as this person or that person, according to their perception, it gives me the opportunity to detach and recognize that I can often be whoever the person needs me to be in that moment. I am able to remain detached as a matter of personal sanity. It doesn’t matter.

Some years later, in 1997, I met Jose Arguelles. He was one of the speakers at The Prophets Conference. I was hired as the event manager by the Axiom Group, the promoters of the event. He and Lloydine came in town a week early and hung out at Village Labs (our officing location) with Jim Dilettoso, me,  and a few others from time to time. We had a great time. Hope I didn’t leave you with too many questions. I’m always open for conversation.